If You Can’t Say It With Them, Don’t Say It At All

Language Shapes Trust: Why Every Nonprofit Needs a Voice and Tone Guide

In a recent conversation with a client, one line landed with unmistakable clarity:

"If you can't say it around the people it's about, then you shouldn't say it at all."

That insight, shared in a discussion about inclusive language, exposes the quiet harm that unexamined words can do, even when intentions come from a good place.

For nonprofits and philanthropic foundations working with Black, Indigenous, and other racialized communities, this isn't just a writing tip. It's a responsibility.

Language Isn't Just a Tool. It's a Signal of Cultural Responsiveness.

When we describe communities using institutional shorthand like "non-qualified donees," "at-risk groups," or even umbrella acronyms like "BIPOC," we often miss the mark. These terms are imprecise. Worse, they can feel dehumanizing.

Using culturally responsive terminology shows a commitment to understanding the nuances of identity, geography, and experience within the communities you work alongside. If the people you're talking about wouldn't recognize themselves in the words you use, you're not communicating. You're alienating.

And it goes deeper than terminology. Too many organizations focus on what they want to say, and not enough on how it might be received.

Too Many Orgs Have a Brand Guide. Few Have a Voice.

Over the years running Third Wunder, working closely with nonprofit and philanthropic organizations, I’ve noticed a recurring pattern. Many have visual brand guides, outlining colours, fonts, and logo usage, but very few have a formal document that guides how they communicate.

There’s often no unified direction for describing their work, articulating their values, or speaking to or about the people they aim to support. 

A voice and tone guide often starts with a communications audit, a critical step to understanding how your language has shown up (or failed to) across touchpoints. 

This gap can lead to inconsistencies, misunderstandings, and even unintentional harm, especially when serving communities that have historically been misrepresented, racialized, or erased.

A communications guide, specifically one that includes brand voice and tone, is not about  consistency. It's about cultural respect. It's a working document that:

• Clarifies how your organization speaks with communities, not about them
• Defines preferred terms, and identifies language to avoid
• Outlines tone shifts across platforms (e.g. formal vs. conversational)
• Provides onramps for new team members and external writers to stay aligned

It becomes a shared source of truth. One that helps prevent erasure, assumption, and unintended harm.

What a Voice and Tone Guide Actually Looks Like

A brand voice and tone guide is a core document that outlines how your organization communicates, not just what you say, but how you say it, to whom, and why it matters.

It’s not meant to be a long, bureaucratic document that gathers dust. It's a practical, easy-to-follow reference for everyone involved in creating or approving communications, internally and externally.

• Voice is your organization’s personality. It stays consistent. Whether you're writing a social post, a grant application, or a press release, your voice reflects your values, like integrity, solidarity, or humility.
• Tone changes depending on context. It adapts to your audience (youth vs. sector peers), channel (Instagram vs. email), or moment (celebration vs. crisis). But it never loses its grounding in your core voice.

Think of the following as an example of what such a guide could contain, not a full model, but a snapshot of the kinds of principles it should reflect:

• The voice should be warm, human, and respectful.
• The tone should flex, casual and relatable when speaking to youth or grassroots partners; measured and direct with funders or policymakers.
• Avoid jargon, saviourism, and power-laden language like “grant,” “invest,” or “non-qualified donee”.
  • Use technical or formal language only in channels where it’s expected and appropriate, such as funding agreements or policy submissions, not in community-facing content.
• Prioritize specificity, relationship, and inclusion. For example, say “Black and Indigenous youth,” not “marginalized communities.”

A voice and tone guide becomes especially valuable when onboarding new staff, hiring freelancers, or standardizing comms across social, web, and email. It ensures that no matter who’s writing, your inclusive communication stays rooted in trust, authenticity, and accountability.

How to Match Tone to Medium, Moment, and Audience

To clarify how voice and tone shift by audience and context, here’s a quick breakdown:

1. Be Specific: Say "Black youth," "First Nations," or "South Asian community" instead of vague generalities. Don’t use BIPOC unless you also spell it out, and always check if the community prefers a more specific identity.
2. Be Accurate: Don’t say "invest in" if there's no ROI. Say "fund" if that’s what you mean.
3. Be Reflective: Ask, "Would I say this in front of them? Would they feel seen or reduced?"
4. Be Evolving: Let the guide be a living document. Language changes, and so should your vocabulary.
   • For example: many organizations are moving away from the term "safe spaces," which can imply a false sense of neutrality or control. Instead, the term "accountable spaces" is emerging as a more accurate reflection of environments that require shared responsibility, mutual respect, and a commitment to growth and repair when harm occurs.
5. Be Grounded: Speak plainly and conversationally. Avoid overly formal, bureaucratic tone that makes communication feel cold or disconnected.
6. Be Relational: Communication should sound like there is a person behind the message. This includes casual language, occasional emojis when appropriate, and warm, direct tone.

From Principles to Practice: What Good Looks Like

Here’s how we’ve seen these ideas come to life across programs and partners.

Across many organizations and community-based programs, it's clear that many community members respond better to informal, relationship-driven language. For example:

• Youth-focused messages should avoid academic or formal jargon.
• Automated emails can still sound human, starting with check-ins, support offers, and thoughtful tone.
• Communities want to see their identities named, not grouped into generalized categories.
• Words like "safe spaces" are being replaced with "accountable spaces" to reflect evolving conversations.
• Organizations should avoid terminology they wouldn’t use face-to-face: including terms like "marginalized," "racialized minorities," or "non-qualified donees."
• Avoid suggesting that grantees are responsible for fixing systemic issues alone. Center their growth, agency, and impact without burdening them with saviour narratives.

Without a Guide, You Risk Getting It Wrong

Without a guide, communications become inconsistent. Worse, they become performative. One team member may write an email that lands well; another may publish a report that distances rather than connects. Community trust fractures. Staff confidence erodes. External collaborators default to "safe" language that may be out of step with your values.

In short: you say things at people, instead of with them.

Language Isn’t Extra. It Is the Work of Language Justice.

Language justice isn’t extra. It is the work. Particularly for organizations claiming to stand for equity, justice, and community.

Creating a voice and tone guide won’t fix systemic issues. But it will help your team avoid unintentionally making things worse with their words. It will build bridges inside and outside your org.

When we communicate with care, we move closer to language justice, where every voice is heard, valued, and respected. It will help your values live on the page.

And it starts with a single question: Would I say this with them in the room?

If the answer is no, start your guide today, with your values, your people, and your purpose in mind.

• Gather your team: Bring together the people who speak on behalf of your organization.
• Name your audiences: Be specific about the communities and stakeholders you're addressing.
• Identify your values: Clarify what principles guide your messaging.
• Ask hard questions: What words reflect respect? What words cause harm?
• Document what you learn: Create a guide so no one has to guess how to speak with care.

Final Thoughts

Communication isn’t just what your organization does, it’s how your values show up in the world. The more intentional we are with our language, the more likely we are to be heard, understood, and trusted.

That’s the work, and the invitation.